How do you get to 300 pounds?

So, how exactly does one get to 300 pounds anyway?

Honestly, a lot of eating. And, a lot of ignoring it and hoping it will just go away. I have been overweight all my life, but things really went out of control for me around 2002.

All through college I stayed around 220-240 pounds – not great, but not 300 pounds. Then, around 2002 I started gaining a bit more, ignoring it, and gaining more on top of that.

My dad died in 2003, and it was the worst thing I have ever been through. I didn’t even know it was possible to be in that much pain, while still remaining alive and functioning in daily life. After that I pretty much gave up on ever being able to control my weight again.

Things changed for me when I found out I was pregnant in August of 2005. It was a miracle after 3 years of trying unsuccessfully – we had given up. I was so happy, and it sort of renewed my faith in the world – and the possibility of life going on. I was very careful with my diet during pregnancy, and even though I was well over 300 pounds, I managed to avoid gestational diabetes.

 My son was born in April, 2006, and it was the happiest day of my life. To this day I get emotional when I think about the moment I got to see him for the first time. I couldn’t stop crying.

 Everything changed for me at Christmas, 2006. My son was about 8 months old – and I was sitting with him, watching him play, when it occurred to me that I wasn’t going to be around for him if I didn’t do something. Nothing hurt me more than losing my dad – I really had a moment where I realized that I was going to lose the chance to see my son grow up if I didn’t get my eating under control. And, I couldn’t imagine explaining to him that I couldn’t go to amusement parks/field trips with him because of my weight. I also didn’t want to be an embarrassment to him – I will raise him to be proud of his family no matter what, but kids are kids, and they can be cruel.

So, January of 2006 I decided I was done being super morbidly obese. That doesn’t mean I am not going to struggle with my weight for as long as I live, I just decided I was going to do everything in my power to make it a priority. I lost 150 pounds.

In spite of my best efforts, and in spite of wanting it badly, I gained it all back. And here I am again, at 300 pounds.

I want to see my son grow up. Gastric bypass is the next tool in my arsenal to make that happen.

Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read my story. Amanda

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